(Fist-Fucking Frequently Asked Questions)
First Complete Version, Dated March 6, 1997
Well, finally, it's done -- the first complete version of the
FFFAQ. Nearly a year in the making and I've got to admit, I'm
pretty proud of it.
However, like any good FAQ, it's never really going to be done.
Updates will continue. If you're a newcomer to fisting and you
have questions that aren't answered here, send them in. If you're
an old hand and you see bad information or have things to add,
send that in too. That's the only way it's going to get better!
So, without further ado -- the questions:
What is fisting?
Fisting, also known as Handball, is a very intense form of sex
which involves the progressive insertion of the hand and sometimes
the arm into the rectum, and lower intestine.
Is that really possible?
Most assuredly, yes. Possible and extremely pleasurable.
Doesn't that hurt?
Not if it's done right. If both the receptive partner (the bottom)
and the insertive partner (the top) are well prepared both physically
and mentally there needn't be any pain at all. When new ground
is being broken there will often be some low-level pain and many
unfamiliar sensations. Part of the mental preparation for a bottom
is learning to sort through these sensations and decide which
are pleasurable and which are serious pain that must be interpreted
as warnings from their body.
Is it physically safe?
Yes, if it's done right. Again, the physical and mental preparation
for both partners is very important (see below). In the past the
danger of fisting has been greatly overstated. It is much like
sky-diving or motorcycling: none of these are completely safe
things to do, however, if you know what you are doing the pleasure
of the activity can far outweigh the risks.
The level of risk increases with the depth of play. Shallow play
up to the wrist, with the hand in the rectum, is less dangerous
than taking a whole arm to the elbow. To keep things in balance,
it takes a very experienced top and bottom to achieve that kind
Overindulgence in drugs, combined with fisting, can radically
alter the equation of safety and is probably responsible for a
great many of the injuries one hears about.
Is it safe in terms of HIV and AIDS?
Common practice among fisters is to use rubber gloves on the top
and separate supplies of lube for each bottom. This, combined
with thorough washing by the top (preferably with a disinfectant)
can reduce the possibility of HIV transmission during fisting
play almost nonexistent.
How long does it take to learn to take a fist?
That depends on what your ass has done before. Starting from being
able to accept something the size of a large cock in you ass it
can take years of steady play before you are ready to accept a
hand inside. If you've played with larger toys you're already
partway there. Generally, if a person can take a dildo about 3
inches (7.62 cm) in width their asshole is physically ready to
take a fist. Their head may be another matter.
Won't I get all 'stretched out'?
No. You won't become incontinent and your ass won't become 'too
loose to fuck.' These are common worries but the direct experience
of people who have practiced fisting contradicts it. This writer
has been getting fisted regularly for more than ten years and
has neither problem described above nor does he know anyone who
To understand why this isn't a worry, consider that the anal sphincters
(the asshole) are rings of muscle. A bottom who can take a fist
has done several things: Primarily, they have learned to control
and relax these muscles (along with a host of others that are
normally under only semi-conscious control). They have also stretched
the muscles. They have not, however, destroyed the muscles. Consider
a dancer who has done the same things with their leg muscles --
learned control and relaxation as well as stretched and limbered
them up. That dancer can still stand, right? Training a muscle
to do new and sometimes extraordinary things generally doesn't
interfere with its function.
What does a red hanky have to do with fisting?
In the leather/SM/kink community there is a tradition known as
the Hanky Code. When out cruising for sex colored hankies in the
back pockets of one's jeans could be used to signal just what
kind of sex one was looking for. The code is extensive and I will
not reproduce it here -- it is widely available online. The basics,
however, are simple.
The color indicates the act or fetish and the side it is worn
on indicates an 'active' or 'passive' preference. The possibilities
range from the common (navy blue for fucking) to the specialized
(maroon for menstrual blood). Bright red is the color for fisting,
right side for bottoms, left side for tops.
Is fisting part of SM?
That's a tough one. SM is a wide-ranging practice and can include
many things -- from whipping to housework. Fisting is one very
specific act. The SM/leather community contains a large number
of fisters but there are also a lot of people who practice fisting
who would not count themselves as part of the SM/leather community.
The argument has been made that a successful SM scene and a successful
fisting scene require essentially different and incompatible mindsets.
This is neither entirely true nor entirely false. While the image
of a man with his hand or arm deep inside another man's ass has
powerful overtones of dominance there are also those for whom
it is a deeply spiritual practice.
Where can I find some fisting videos?
There seem to be only a handful of companies that make videos
with fisting content and those videos generally aren't available
at you local video rental shop -- even the Gay shops. To make
matters more complicated, at least one company, Falcon, is known
to produce two versions of some of its videos, one with fisting
content removed for rental and one with it intact for mail order.
Mail order is just about the only way to get fisting videos, either
direct from one of the video companies or from a reputable distributor
like those listed here.
P.O. Box 420750
San Francisco, CA 94101
Falcon Titles: (incomplete list) Spring Break, Abduction
Hot House Entertainment Inc.
P.O.Box 410990 #523
San Francisco, CA 94141-0990
voice: 1-800-884-4687 fax: 1-415-585-3739
Hot House Titles: Nothin Nice, Special Handling, Bottom's Up,
Layin Pipe, Dr. Good Glove, Call to Arms, Gut Reaction
Pig Play Productions
7985 Santa Monica Blvd, #109 - 252
West Hollywood, CA 90046
Pig Play Titles: Handball Marathon I, Handball Marathon II, Handball
Third World Video (succesor to Live Video)
561 Hudson Street, #53
New York, NY 10014
212-243-2772 FAX - 212-627-2461
Third World Titles: Unknown. (Do they have the old Chris Rage videos?)
P.O. Box 150790
Brooklyn, NY 11215
Title: Kink Video #144-Spread My Hole
Mr. S Leather Company
310 7th St
San Francisco, CA 94103
Known to carry: Hot House
22 Shotwell St
San Francisco, CA 94103
Rob Carries: Falcon, Pig Play, Hot House
What on-line resources are there for fisting?
Well, besides the RedRight Web, there's the HANDBALL mailing list.
The HANDBALL list is fairly active and averages 30 - 50 messages
a day. It's membership is international, though mainly focused
in North America.
An Internet mailing list is a robot that takes all e-mail sent
to it and remails it to everyone on the list. Mailing lists have
two addresses, one to use when you want to talk to the robot and
one when you want to send mail to the other people on list.
To join the handball mailing list, send your request to the robot
at the following address:
The body of your message should consist of the following command:
The handball mailing list is also available in what is called
digest format. If you sign up for the digest you will get one
or two large messages each day that are a compilation of the messages
that have appeared on the list for the day. To sign up for the
digest version of the list use the same address:
This time, however, the body of your message should consist of
the following command:
To unsubscribe, use the same address but send either the message:
unsubscribe handball or unsubscribe handball-digest
depending upon which version of the mailing list you are receiving
and wish to discontinue.
To send a message to all of the men on the list send a message
What should I do if I want to start getting my ass ready to take
"Son, I've got just one word for you... Dildos." No amount of
cock-fucking is going to get your ass ready for the ulitmate joy
of taking a fist. Where nature fails us latex steps in.
In choosing your tools, start by comsidering what your ass can
do now. If you can easily take a big cock then you're probably
ready for a dildo just a little larger than nature ever blessed
a man with. If you're already playing easily with something in
that size range take a small step up.
In any case, slowly progress by playing with larger and larger
dildos heading for a goal of one that's about 3 inches (7.62 cm)
in width. When you can take a toy that size fairly easily your
ass is physically ready to take a fist.
Practice, practice, practice -- the more you play the faster you'll
progress. (Besides, it's so much fun!)
One note is probably in order here, since there is no dildo FAQ:
While I recommend Crisco for fisting, it is not a good choice
for dildo play. Crisco eats latex and in the long term it will
damage your toys. You may still choose to use it, but be prepared
to replace your toys more often.
Where can I get good dildos mail-order?
There's a couple of good mail-order suppliers:
Mercury's catalog is free and has perhaps the widest selection
of dildos available. A great place to start your collection.
Mercury Mail Order
4084 18th Street
San Francisco CA 94114-2534
The Mr. S Catalog costs about $20, but it's well worth the cost
to anyone who's into leather. It's got 200+ pages of great (b&w)
photography, hot models, and amazing gear. Their dildo selection
is small but interesting and high-quality, like everything they
Fetters / Mr. S Leather
310 7th Street
San Francisco CA 94103
ROB's slim catalog is a work of art. They've got a great selection
of gear, and some great photography. The dildo collection is small
but contains a number of imported toys that aren't available elsewhere.
There is a fee for this catalog.
24 Shotwell Street
San Francisco CA 94103
What lubricant should be used for fisting?
Anything that's non-toxic, slippery, and doesn't dry out. There's
a whole host of slippery substances that will do the trick. There
are also a few to avoid. KY Jelly, Probe, and other water-based
sex-lubes are generally poor choices -- they lack 'body' and tend
to dry out over the length of a fisting session.
In North America there are two good choices that are popular:
Crisco and J-Lube. (Oddly enough, the situation may be different
in the rest of the world -- more on that in a few bytes...)
Crisco is still, by far, the most commonly used lube for fisting.
For those not acquainted with this wonderful product it's a brand
name for vegetable shortening -- a white, vegetable-based grease
used in cooking. It's cheap, easy to come by, and never looses
While it is true that Crisco is a bad idea for cock-fucking because
it breaks down the rubber of condoms, this isn't a problem for
fisting for two reasons: First off, the rubber used in gloves
is a lot heavier than that used in condoms. Second, a hand doesn't
cum. The main disease agents that condoms protect from are found
in sperm and while hands can do many wonderous things in an ass,
they don't cum.
J-Lube is a veterinary lubricant. Vets use it when they have to
fist cows. It is also one of the strangest materials known to
man. Some suspect it originated with technology left behind by
some alien from outer space (just kidding). Seriously though,
J-Lube is a stringy liquid or gel. It comes in a powder that is
mixed with water (one package makes 8 gallons!). Because of its
peculiar properties the mixing and handling of J-Lube almost merits
it's own FAQ. It's fairly inexpensive, easy to get, and stays
slippery for a very long time. You can get J-Lube from:
4825 Stoddard Rd.
Modesto, CA 95356-9318
Phone:1-800-558-9595 or 209.545.1600
The item number is C08175N at $7.85 for 8 oz. of the powder which
makes vast quantities of the strange stuff.
Which you prefer is a very personal choice and they can be used
together. Crisco is thicker, has more 'body' and is easier to
handle. It's also a holy terror to clean up [more tips on this
in future versions of the FFFAQ]. J-lube is thinner, slipperier,
and easier to clean up but can be kind of tricky to handle.
Where it's available Crisco is probably the best choice for beginners.
I'm told that in some parts of Europe Crisco-equivalent products
are sold under the brand names Trex and White Flora. I'm still
looking for good information from fisters around the rest of the
How do I prepare if I want to fist someone?
There's only one immutable thing you *must* do, and that's trim
your fingernails. I'm not just talking a nice little manicure
here, I'm talking cutting and filing your nails until virtually
all of the white portion is gone and the edges are so smooth you
can't feel them on your naked cheek.
I start with a clipper and then finish off with a good file. Pay
particular attention to the corners -- it's easy to leave sharp
edges there if you don't look closely.
That said, there's also a few cautionary notes I'd like to offer.
First off, concentrate on patience. Go slow! For the bottom it
will feel like every movement your hand makes in his ass is magnified
tenfold. Often, after your hand makes it's initi al entry it's
a good idea to let it rest, completely still, for a few moments
to let the bottom adjust. After that, make slow gentle movements
and pay attention to the bottom -- read his signals and increase
the intensity as he seems ready.
The second cautionary note regards sobriety. I'd be a hypocrite
if I said you should never top under the influence of drugs, so
I won't, but, personally, I do think that being a top requires
a higher level of sobriety than being a bottom. It takes a great
deal of sensitivity and attention to read a bottom and to be a
good top -- drugs can get in the way of that. This is particularly
true if you're a beginning top and still learning the ropes.
Know your limits and play within them.
What about blood?
Blood is not necessarily a result of fisting, nor is it entirely
uncommon. Some would say that fisitng play should stop at the
first sign of blood but few experienced fisters follow this rule.
If you are a top and you notice blood on your hand or around the
asshole you should let the bottom know. For the most part it is
the bottom's decision whether to continue play or not. If, however,
you are uncomfortable then, by all means, stop.
Generally, a little pink mixed in with the lube is a sign for
caution -- you may want to slow down to a less aggressive style
of play. Noticeable quantities of bright red blood are a sign
If the bottom notices more than small amounts of blood in his
stool more than a few hours after play don't delay -- get medical
aid. Be honest about what has happened or you may get all kinds
of incorrect or dangerous diagnoses.
Are there any newsletters for fisters?
Yes, there are at least two: TRUST and Touch. Thse are an excellent
way to find other people who are into fisting.
TRUST is a quarterly contact newsletter for people into fisting.
Currently running at about 40 pages per issue with 22 pages of
ads. Most ads are for contacts in the USA, however the current
issue includes 5 ads for Canada and 12 international ads (200+
An annual subscription is $25 per year in the USA, $26 in Canada,
and $30 overseas. Subscription includes a one-time classified
ad of 40 words or less. Additional insertions are $10 per issue.
Cost of mail forwarding is additional.
For a subscription send a check or money order to:
P.O. Box 14697
San Francisco, CA 94114
Where are the clubs for fisters?
Fisting organizations are a great way to meet people who know
what they're doing and can be trusted.
Below is a regional listing of fisting organizations that I have contact information for. These have not all been checked, but they come from as reliable sources as I can get my hands on. If you have corrections or your group isn't listed and wants to be send e-mail to: RedRight.
It's my page so I have to put in a plug for my local group, The Cavern Dwellers of Minnesota -- I love you guys! Thanks for helping me open wide and keep my attitude adjusted!
Washington DC - FFA/CAC
Fist Fuckers of America Capitol Area Chapter holds play parties
the 1st and 3rd Saturday of each month in the Washington DC area.
For information write to: POB 461, Ben Franklin Station, Washington
New York - "Forever Fisting" & FF-NYC
Regular parties at Heaven and the Maze, twice a month (2nd Friday
& last Saturday). To get on the mailing list or for further information
call 908.241.0730 and ask for Bobby.
(anybody got better information for this one?)
Minneapolis/St Paul - The Cavern Dwellers
The Cavern Dwellers, are RedRight's home club. We formerly had our own play space and hosted weekly parties. Right now (February, 2002) we are in the process of finding a new space (not as easy as you might think!). CDA will rise again. Watch the Handball list for announcements.
Chicago - M.A.F.I.A.
The grand old dame of the fisting community, M.A.F.I.A. (Mid-America
Fists In Action) has their own play space and regular parties.
Their SummerFist event is incredible and their BlackHole parties
during International Mr. Leather can really stretch your fun at
IML. TRUST subscribers welcome.
M.A.F.I.A. has a website at: http://www.mafiaff.org/, and they can be contacted via e-mail to their membership/welcoming committee chairman, David Olade, at firstname.lastname@example.org. Their snail mail address is:
P.O. Box 2230
Seattle -- Cascade Handballers
Cascade hold monthly socials at the Seattle Eagle on the second
Friday of the month from 8 pm to 10 pm. Write them at:
1202 East Pike
Seattle, WA 98122
San Francisco - The Sling
The Sling is an on-going, commercial play party in San Francisco
on the 1st, 3rd, & 5th Friday of each month. The rules are Safe
Sex only and no drugs on the premises. For details, call Russ
at 415.985.7085. They suggest a last-minute check before you leave,
in case of schedule changes.
San Diego - Red Hankies of San Diego
RHSD is an international social/sexual club now in its 5th year
with nearly 400 members worldwide. They host monthly bar nights,
socials, play parties, pool parties, and BBQ's. They also publish
a quarterly newsletter with free classified ads. For further information
send a self-addressed, stamped envelope or call:
San Diego, CA 92163
619.688.8668 (voice mail)
Albuquerque -- FFA / New Mexico
FFA / New Mexico holds play parties on the second Saturday of
each month in Albuquerque. For further information write to:
Albuquerque, NM 87125
F.I.A.T. -- Toronto area
F.I.A.T. holds regular monthly play parties in Toronto on the
second Saturday of each month. Gloves, lube, snacks and soft drinks
are included in the cost of admission (presently $5). Parties
run from 8:00 pm to 1 am. For more information, contact email@example.com
No information at this time...
Aukland - H.A.N.Z.
The Handball Association of New Zealand is a small group of fisting
enthusiasts offering hands of welcome and a hole lot of hospitality
to handballers worldwide. A great place to stop off and play on
the way to Mardi Gras! For information write to: POB 47483, Ponsonby,