Selected transcripts from the Network News Network's (NNN) live coverage of the day nothing happened.
We interrupt our regularly scheduled program with this special Network News Network Flash Alert Breaking Report.
Here is Joe Tighty in New York.
Good evening. Spanish authorities are reporting tonight that Generalísimo Francisco Paulino Hermenegildo Teódulo Franco y Bahamonde, known in Spain as "Caudillo de España por la gracia de Dios" (The Leader of Spain by the grace of God), is still dead.
Hey, wait a minute, is this some kind of stupid joke?
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