The Found Knowledge of Swezey,

"If all is not lost, where is it?"

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

It was all so different before everything changed.

I think I saw my inner child on the side of a milk carton.

Dyslexics have more fnu.

Clones are people two.

Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

I did it Frank's way.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Editing is a rewording activity.

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

You can't have everything.  Where would you put it?

You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done.

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix.  Never drink and derive.

If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.

Families are like fudge .. mostly sweet with a few nuts.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

I'm just like Linda Tripp.

I wish the buck did stop here. I could use the money.

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(c) 1998 Thomas F. Swezey. All rights reserved.