More Wisdom Of Swezey!

1997 is going to be an odd year!

I feel like a million bucks - all green and wrinklely.

I just bought that new children's tape Hooked on Ebonics. It be real good.

I'm against the Metric System - I think it's unAmerican to give up our British system in favor of some silly European standard.

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you know you're built upside down.

I'm against modern Bible translations - I think it's a sin not to use Thee's and Thou's like Jesus did. 

The stock market will do whatever it has to to make the majority look stupid.

In America we have the best government money can buy!

JFK's advice from his father: Don't buy one more vote then you have too.

About Henry Kissinger: He's a legend in his own mind.

Custer's last words: Don't take any prisoners. 

I get depressed when I think of all that data out there - much of it waiting to be processed.

I hate to see food going to waste - especially my waist!

Moderation is okay - if you keep a limit on it!

If you lived here - you'd be home right now.

Support the criminally insane - or I KiLL YoU! 


There's a train leaving town tonight at 11:05 - be under it.

A fool and my money are soon parted.

I wonder if my inner child lives in the inner city?

I heard about this dance called the two-step. It must not last very long. 

I just learned the Elevator Dance, its easy - there's no steps.

I got stuck between floors on an escalator once for over three hours during a power outage.

I just made reservations for a really low budget cruise, it's for seven days and three nights.

Feed a cold and feed a fever.

Better never than late!

My life's an open book - it's just that some of the pages are missing!

Company loves misery!

I'm so far out I'm back in again!

I'm naked underneath these clothes!

Favorite book: Malice in Wonderland. 

I'm so brilliant, my mother calls me sun.

I thought "a little nip in the air" was a World War II kamakazee movie.

New York, New York... a town so nice they named it twice.

Jackson Pollack would be "America's greatest living artist" if he wasn't dead.

More is good, All is better! 

I was in a hurry yesterday, so I ran into MacDonalds and ordered a hamburger and told them to step on it.

I always keep on the straight and narrow... in a wide bodied sort of way.

May the farce be with you!

Free the Indianapolis 500!

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