Consumer Harvester
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Details of the Consumer Harvester - Massey Fergusen Model 400B
DRHA
The Dataset Resource Harvesting Attachment is one of the most powerful, and carefully-maintained attachments found on a Consumer Harvester. It is in charge of maintaining all marketing-related datasets, and is responsible for data mining. The data mining blades are intensely fierce, often travelling to other company's harvesters and offering money to DRHA's and prediction machines to try to get them to sell their datasets. Data mining people and code have been known to often blatently steal datasets from other company's harvesters, and human animal resources have lost their lives over datasets. The extreme dangers of being in the vicinity of a data mining mechanism, make this a likely target for government regulations or subversive activities such as intentional dataset contamination, sometimes called "goosers". The name is derived from the abilities of a contaminated dataset to send prediction machines on "wild goose chases"... where they deliver incorrect trend graphings.
In all actuality, the Consumer Harvester has a Dataset Resource Harvesting Attachment that is almost an exact copy of the DRHA found on the Resources Harvester. Let's put it this way... they can share each other's data, so both actually make up one big DRHA. The Resource Harvester's DRHA OFTEN uses datasets obtained from prediction machines inside the Consumer Harvester DRHA, and vice versa. Although they communicate often, the consumer DRHA and prediction machines, reside on the Consumer Harvester, and the resource DRHA and prediction machines, reside on the Resource Harvester.
ERHA?
The Earth Resources Harvester Attachment fulfills another function of the Consumer Harvester, and one which is semi-parallel to the Resource Harvester's ERHA (Earth Resources). It monitors the "worldwide profit availability" sensor for a given product type. Using our previous examples with the lightbulb companies... this attachment monitors the amount of money being spent on lightbulbs on the entire planet. These numbers can be used by those who want to figure out what "market share" is held by a given lightbulb company. Since those numbers are data, they are quite useful to the DRHA prediction machines too. The ERHA is also highly-interested in the continuance of consumerism, though that is not, currently, a problematic area.
LRHA?
The Living Resources Harvester Attachment for the Consumer Harvester is an odd device. Since the Consumer Harvester is only interested in money harvesting from consumers, the only living resource is the consumer. This is the smallest of the harvester attachments to be found, worked-at, and attended. Sales people, though primarily part of the DRHA's marketing area... also listen to consumer feedback and suggestions, or act like they do... and can feed data to the LRHA. Email, letters, feedback, suggestions, anything coming from the consumer OTHER THAN money, is handled by this device. The reason feedback links are so difficult to find on many company's web pages, and the reason you must wander through customer service recorded phone menu mazes, is because of the lack of attention to this attachment. The cost of running this attachment is quite high, and has very little profit returned. Thus, it is a target for automation. The impact on consumers in lieu of these automations... is also monitored lightly. Consumer surveys are also routed through this device on their way to the DRHA of the harvester.
Resource Harvester
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Generally speaking, "resources", and the Resource Harvester itself... is part of the support structure for the CONSUMER Harvester. The Consumer Harvester is most important these days, because profit is the #1 rated opportunity currently. Helping mankind runs a distant second. In a way, the Resource Harvester makes FUEL for the Consumer Harvester.
There are really only 3 types of resources, and thusly, only 3 harvester attachments available for the Resource Harvester. Each of the 3 attachments (DRHA, ERHA, LRHA) is very complex, and often contain MANY sub-harvesting divisions. Just think about all the types of resources (other than consumers) that there are. Actually, too many to count. They all can be grouped into 3 categories, so... 3 different harvester attachments are found on the Resource Harvester. They are shown below.
Details of the Resource Harvester - John Deere Model 401C
DRHA
Dataset Resources Harvesting Attachment (DRHA) - This, we talked about earlier, and a near-exact copy of this attachment is on the Consumer Harvester. The two units talk with each other almost constantly via networking and database analysis tools. Both harvesters often use the same datasets, but run different trend prediction (graphing) software. Also, since they are located on two different harvesters, each has a different task in "strategically positioning" each's particular harvester. The job of a Dataset Resource Harvester Attachment is to seek-out new and old data that could help the built-in prediction computers be more accurate... so the company can modify harvesting techniques and place the harvester in a profitable strategic position within the prediction graph. Many humans are currently working in DRHA departments, especially in tasks involving the feeding of the prediction machines and pondering their graphs. NOTE: There is one significant difference between the NOISE_MAKING (luring) sections of the DRHA's on each type of harvester. The lure noise made on a CONSUMER HARVESTER is advertising for consumers. The lure noise made by a RESOURCE HARVESTER... is made to sound like opportunity... for harvesting workforce and raw materials. Here we go with the second attachment...
ERHA
Earth Resources Harvesting Attachment (ERHA) - By strict definition, this harvester attachment roams the lands, searching to harvest feasible non-living materials, and exploiting their opportunities. It may be one of the most fierce, rampaging, harvesting attachments ever invented. It roams the Earth, often with buckets of cash for easy trading, searching for such things as oil, gas, fertile soil, buildings, lakes, rivers, sunshine, beaches, wind, etc. Notice I included buildings in my list of Earth Resource targets of this harvester attachment. You say its not an Earth resource? In a way, its not... but the Earth Resource attachment doesn't see it that way. The ERHA for the Resource Harvester actually goes out searching for ANYTHING it sees as an "opportunity" that is located on the planet and not living. The ERHA device is very fierce, and often harvests non-living opportunities with such fervor, that living things nearby get hurt or die. A good example would be where a bunch of animal habitat is destroyed in order for the harvester to place a building on the land formerly occupied by the animals. Many of the former animal occupants of that habitat, will die, or be displaced sufficiently to cease the family bloodline. i.e. the deer that once occupied the land, will scatter and displace, reducing the likelyhood of each member breeding and producing continued generations of deer.
NOTE: There is an often-ignored section of the ERHA that is used to try to predict graphs of harvesting impact ramifications. Its the... "what would happen to everyone and everything if we harvested this opportunity" prediction machine. It has a thick insulator around it to keep it from affecting the DRHA's on both harvesters. Now, on with the last attachment.
LRHA
Living Resources Harvesting Attachment (LRHA) - Yikes! Ah... but you KNEW we'd have to get to THIS attachment eventually, right? There are multiple "layers" or "sub-attachments" within the wonderful LRHA attachment! For example, the plants division has facilities to kill... errr... I mean harvest... things like corn and wheat, and lumber... its a very popular harvester attachment.
The LRHA for the Resource Harvester is a very active and complicated attachment. It has two primary sections, both are quite complex. The two sections are known as the PLANTS SECTION and the ANIMALS SECTION. Details follow.
PLANTS SECTION:
The plants section has facilities to harvest all plant life, and plant by-products. Apples, oranges, corn, lumber, sugar, wheat, and cocoa, are a few examples. "Plants" is a very popular harvester attachment, and many companies fuel large Consumer Harvesters... with this section of the LRHA attachment. Since a Dataset Resource Harvester Attachment (DRHA) is almost always operational on a Resource Harvester, datasets such as soy futures, crop levels, storage levels, and other production graphings are sent back to the DRHA's prediction machines. This is so accurate future trends can be seen, and proper harvester strategic positioning can be done.
ANIMALS SECTION:
The ANIMALS section of the Living Resources Harvesting Attachment is a very complex area. At its most basic core, it differs only slightly from the plants harvesting section of the LRHA. (Refer to the definition of 'plant' to obtain differences between plants and animals.)
One of the more prominent characteristics of animals that illustrate their difference from plants, is the existence of sense organs. Loosely redefined, it means that animals can "feel". Quite likely, all animals can "feel" "physically" and SOME... "emotionally". By-products of animals... are included within the Animals Section of the LRHA attachment. A good example is chicken eggs. The chicken egg harvester group, which maintains the harvesting blades and motor for the chicken egg harvesting section, is located in the Renewable Resources division, of the BY-PRODUCTS division, of the Animals Section, of the LRHA (Living Resources) attachment. Are ya with me on this??? See, I told you the Animals Section of the LRHA was complex.
Now, on to the NON-BY-PRODUCTS division... where all the animal rights folk hang out. Over here, we whack off the heads of chickens, cows, fish, and pigs... as well as processing, birthing, hybriding, feeding, cloning, fattening, and transporting these critters. There IS by-products involvement in the NON-by-products section, due to the useabilities of sub-parts of the carcasses.
Last, and probably least, comes the HUMAN RESOURCES section of the RENEWABLE RESOURCES division, of the ANIMALS section of the LRHA. Remember... CONSUMERS are a type of human resource, but that is taken care of by the Consumer Harvester. The HR section takes care of workforce management, whatever that means. Essentially, it tries to put very little money, petting, and other resources into human workforce gathering, training and retention... and tries to get high money, worker output, worker contentment, worker devotion, and worker benefits satisfaction... in return. For ease of discussion, lets just say its the workforce cost/profit ratio monitoring and harvesting section. The HR section has a rather fierce and relentless harvester mechanism. It has sharp blades, it is very fast, it has a powerful motor, and likes to disguise itself as opportunity. Many human animal resources have been whacked severely by the HR harvester blades.
Job recruiters often place a Consumer Harvester AND a Resource Harvester into HR sections of other company's harvesters. Then, they place another Consumer Harvester AND another Resource Harvester... into places where job-position consumers hang out. This twin-harvesting system has proved to be very successful profit-wise. The fierceness and lack of impact analysis data in HR harvesting, is believed to be the reason for the start of the welfare system.
Thanks for reading about the harvesters!
Revisions forthcoming.
Wingnut
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