If I do not believe in a god, what is my higher power? How can I apply the steps. What is it that helps me, the agnostic, get sober and stay sober? I gave up searching for an understanding of my HP. I gave up searching for the existence. Call it a character defect if you will, but I simply cannot believe. So how do I apply the principles of AA? How do I stay sober?
Strange as it may seem, it is mostly step 3 and 7: I turn my will and my life and all things over to the care of everything, but me. Instead of going against the stream of life, running my head against walls, trying to do the impossible, I turn the outcome of my endeavors to the natural flow of things. I constantly remind myself that I cannot control my fellow humans. Their lives are controlled by the laws of nature, just as mine. I remind myself, whatever I do, I never have all the facts which may effect the outcome. I just can do the best I know how with the data available. Naturally then, I cannot plan on the outcome. Even in physics there is the "uncertainty principle". Chance and the unknown play too much a part in my daily life to insist on a certain outcome.
But this "turning over" is essentially an act of non-action. Non-action in the past was my downfall, also. It led to constant concentration on my self and my problems. What else must I do? The key here lies in the recognition that the worst problem for an alcoholic is self-centeredness. The solution to that problem is concentration on others. All of steps 4 through 12 are principles which help me to concentrate on others than myself. This very act of letting go of resentments, self-pity, fear of others and whatever else keeps my thoughts going in circles about myself, this act of reaching out, forgetting for today myself, keeps me sober and serene. While I am occupied with paying attention to the needs of others, I am free of myself.
I don't mean to imply that I should not take care of myself. My natural needs must be met. But no more is required.
Step 7, asking the higher power to relieve me from all defects which stand in the way of my usefulness to my fellows is the active complement of step 3. In the 7 step prayer I see that the believer simply asks help to be a good person. What is a "good person"? - A person who does no harm to others. A person who helps others. As long as I am a good person, I need not fear others. As long as I take care to know what acts of mine might harm others, I am not concentrated on myself, but on others. I stay sober. In step 4, 5, and 6 I have learned what defects of mine tend to hurt others. Constant vigilance against these defect keep me on my toes, keep me away from getting stuck in the rut of self-pity, fear, and resentments. I practice the opposite of the defect. Instead of letting fear of failure lead me into procrastination, I practice doing difficult things first. Instead of letting impatience bring my brain to a boil, I recite "accept the things I cannot change", and so practice patience. It is easy to fall back into bad habits. By practicing the opposite, I practice and acquire good habits. Still, I need Step 10 to avoid falling back and meditation in step 11 to learn more of what is required of me to stay happy and serene without a drink.
My Higher Power? - The laws of nature. Those I know of, and those I don't know of. And I trust, they don't change every day.