They say the first day back to work after the holidays is the most depressing day of the year, so I thought maybe a little silliness might bring a moment of joy to your otherwise drab wretched lives today.

If you remember, a year ago I commented on the fact that that Anthony Weiner guy, the former New York congressman, was in the news again.

If you recall, he went to jail for sending naked pictures of his private parts to underage girls.

Now I've never done anything like that - although my private parts are magnificent - but there is after all a reason they're called "private parts".

Anyway, last year, I admitted that I do have a twisted fetish - I feel the compulsion to send out naked pictures of troll dolls.

Yes, I know, I know - but it's overwhelming - I can't help it.

After last year I did seek help. I tracked down Elvis Presley's former doctor - Dr. Doug Attic Feelgood.

Now, most think he's just a quack, but I found his therapy of high doses of hallucinogenic drugs coupled with intensive electrical shock treatments to be highly effective and ... did you ever notice how the back of your hand makes a sound like a broccoli?

Anyway, I thought I finally had this all under control until I ran across a troll doll that just begged me to troll flash him.

Seriously, he asked me to do it, he begged me ... At least I think that's what he said, I don't speak Moldavian very well.

It all came rushing back to me.

The thrill - the excitement!

I gotta do it ... I gotta ..

I gotta hit SEND

Oh! Yes! - Oh! Yes!

Oh No! I just remembered why this is so embarrassing!

These troll dolls aren't anatomically correct!

They're missing something!

Something VERY important!

There's only four fingers on each hand and only four toes on each foot!

No pinkies!

Oh no! These dolls have no pinkies!

I'm so embarrassed.

I'll have to call Dr. Feelgood and increase my treatment!

And ... I wonder what makes the screen ripple and bend like that - back and forth - back and forth - up and down ... like little dancing crabs dangling from a flag pole ...

Wow, I gotta get to Dr. Feelgood right away - I think the treatment is starting to wear off.

I will never do this again!

And this time, I mean it!

Happy New Year!