06/08/2023

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You know me, like most Software Engineers, I love living on the edge.

I'm always seeking that adrenaline rush you get by risking your life doing something really stupid just for the thrill of it.

I'll almost do anything to get it.

I almost took up sky diving.
I almost took up bungee jumping.
I almost rode on a roller coaster once.
I almost rode on a Merry Go 'Round once.
The list of things I almost did is endless.

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Anyway, I see in the news lately all this stuff about "trans gendering".

Now I've been a guy all my life.

I like being a guy, it's pretty good, I got no complaints.

But it seems like "trans gendering" is now the new, really HIP thing to be, and you know me, I'm always chasing the latest thing in my lifelong quest to stay HIP. 

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So I told my doctor I wanted to undergo a transgender operation.

At first he asked me which gender I wanted to transition to?

I thought, what kind of cheap crack is that!

But then he showed me a list - there's evidently 105 "recognized" genders nowadays - which one did I want to be?

Well, I guess I'm kinda old fashioned, but that's the stupidest thing I ever heard of.

To me there's just two genders - the one I got and the other one. 

Okay, I don't exactly know what 
Androgynous, demiflux, gender fluid, intergender, neurogender, omnigender, travesti, two-spirit, waria, or xenogender 
mean, but I'm pretty sure I DON'T want to be any of them.

(How does one of those ever meet their opposite?)

(What IS their opposite exactly?)

So anyway, I said forget it Doc, just make me a good old woman.

Okay ... 

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Anyway, I underwent the operation a few weeks ago and now all the bandages are off.

I've included before and after pictures so you can see what I used to look like and how it turned out.

Actually, I'm kind of disappointed.

I had hoped I'd look more like Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Rachel Welch, Jenny McCarthy, Jessica Simpson or somebody like that.

You know, a real babe.

Instead, I just look like an ugly guy with a wig.

I guess the doctor took me a little too literally when I said "just make me a good old woman".

So anyway, I'm thinking I'm going have to talk to him about transgendering BACK to being a guy.

I hope he's still got Percy in a freezer somewhere, so he can sew him back on.

Anywy, wait - what? - "one way street" - "irreversible".

No! oooooooooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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That's when I fell out of bed and woke up!

I DREAMED ALL THIS!

I didn't do ANY of it!

Thank goodness I'm still a guy!

Thank goodness Percy is still okay!

I've learned my lesson!

I have GOT to stop chowing down on all those anchovies just before I go to bed.

Those nightmares really freak me out :-)


Stay Jazzed!
And if it ain't broke - don't 'fix' it!
--Tom Swezey

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