02/25/2021

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I got some bad news the other day.

A couple of years ago my broker got me in on a good deal as part owner of a major squirrel ranch down in Texas.

A really massive operation with over 100,000 "free range" squirrels - raised for their meat and eggs.

Anyway, he said the recent cold snap down there has killed off most of the squirrels and the ranch has gone under and I'm out all my money!

Evidently they feed the squirrels hay but during the cold snap the squirrels wouldn't eat it. Maybe squirrels don't like hay.

Anyway, I was hoping the sale of squirrel eggs from the rest might offset some of the losses.

My broker always told me that squirrel eggs have less than half the cholesterol of regular chicken eggs.

Sounded pretty good to me - but I guess not.

They had sent me a sample dead squirrel once to eat to try it out. It tasted alot like chicken.

Wait, squirrels don't have "wings" do they?

I guess some do. I didn't know that.

May be it was a "flying squirrel".

It didn't taste at all like the squirrels I catch in my backyard. It must depend on the hay they feed them or something.

Anyway, the whole thing is a bust now.


I was in Cub the other day and I asked them where the squirrel eggs were and they sort of giggled and said they were over by the bunny eggs.

I found the Cadbury eggs okay, but no squirrel eggs. I've always wondered why rabbits' coat their eggs in chocolate.

Anyway, what's the deal? Why no squirrel eggs?

My broker said it's cultural - people in Minnesota just don't eat squirrel as much as the people down south do. I guess that's right.


You know, I'm beginning to think I might have been taken on this whole thing.

I always said, a fool and MY money are soon parted.

I wish I knew more about ranching - I'm such a city kid :-)

Oh well, at least I still have the lizard ranch in Guatemala.

And my broker tells me lizard meat is the next "big thing".

It sure beats raw bat meat anyway.

Wait, lizards don't have "wings" do they?

I think maybe I need a new broker.


Stay Jazzed!
--Tom Swezey