01/02/2023

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I read somewhere once that the first day back to work after the holidays is the most depressing day of the year for most people.

So I figure you could use a bonus issue of "Hit Of The Week" (HotW) to help you get through your drab wretched day.

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Anyway, my Mother, God rest her soul, used to like to read the National Enquirer tabloid.

She said she didn't believe a word of it - it was just fun to read.

Anyway, I was over at my parent's house for Sunday dinner once when I noticed one.

It caught my eye because of a headline - "Scientists Prove Plants Can Talk, Sing and Do Math".

Whoa! Wait a minute!

I don't care about the talking and singing part, but if plants can do math they can probably be trained to do computer programming!

This could be a real threat to my job!

Nobody likes to have their job replaced by automation - but come on - replaced by a PLANT?

I don't know if I could handle that :-)

I could imagine my boss saying something like, "We've got this PLANT over here - it can do everything YOU can do - pack up your stuff - you're outta here!"

Anyway, the article turned out to be just as hokey as you might expect.

A "scientist" in South Korea hooked up an ohm meter and a speaker to a plant and when he talked at it or waved his hands or something the meter wiggled a little and the speaker made some sounds, the math part was even sillier.

I felt reassured :-)

I asked my Mother if I could have that issue, but a few weeks later she asked for it back.

Turns out when she finished reading them she passed them on to a neighbor lady who read them and passed them on to another neighbor lady who read them and passed them on and so on and so on.

I had interrupted a major communication chain and they were asking when they'd get the missing issue.

So anyway, I don't have it anymore.

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Fast forward to about 6 or 7 years ago.

I was working on a project using a little Raspberry Pi computer.

They're about the size of a pack of cigarettes but are like a small PC - very handy "off the rack" for a lot of applications.

Anyway, on the box I bought it in, it said "For Ages 12 and Above."

"12 and Above"?

You used to need a Computer Science degree or something to do this kind of work - now it's "Ages 12 and Above"?

Anyway, I could imagine my boss saying something like, "We've got this grade school kid over here, little Billy - he can do everything YOU can do - pack up your stuff - you're outta here."

(Actually, I like to think the work I do requires at least a 16 year old :-)

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So anyway, I was thinking, it'd be a real shame if little Billy met with some kind of horrible accident.

You know, like accidently getting shoved down a flight of stairs or something.

Or being thrown out of a window like a Russian oligarch.

Bet he couldn't talk, sing or do math after that :-)

Oh, you know I'm just kidding around.

I'd never hurt anybody, especially not a kid.

Wait, is that little Billy over there?

I gotta go.

I've got a complex computer problem I've been stuck on for several weeks and I really need little Billy's advice on it.

Ya, ... sure I do.

"Hey Billy, come on upstairs - I need you to help me with a computer problem."

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Anyway, Happy New Year!

I'm sure everybody's going to have a better year this year than little Billy is about to have (!!!).

Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

I just read where they're developing AI (Artificial Intelligence) programs that write computer code!

Now I can imagine my boss saying, "We've got this computer program over here - it can do everything you AND little Billy can do - pack up your stuff - you're BOTH outta here!"

Well, I guess that's "progress".

I'll have to break the news to little Billy - soon as he gets out of the hospital :-)

Still, could be worse - we could have been replaced by plants :-)


Stay Jazzed in 2023!
--Tom Swezey