10/7/2021

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"Please, Mr. Columbus (Turn the Ship Around)", Lou Monte (1962)

This week's theme: Christopher Columbus, Hero or Zero?

Columbus Day, October 12, is celebrated this year on Monday, October 10. (Or 
"Indigenous Peoples' Encounter Day" - if you prefer.)

*****
When I was a kid, Columbus was still celebrated as a hero.

Not the greatest hero who ever lived, but still a hero.

I mean, it takes some guts to base a theory on the scant scientific data at 
the time, that you can get east by going west and then actually setting sail 
in those crappy little sailboats without radios or GPS, to prove it.

You'd never get me to do that :-)

I've always wondered how world history would have gone if Columbus HAD 
actually fallen off the edge of the world when he'd gotten close to it.

I guess we're all just lucky about that :-)

*****
Anyway, nowadays you'd think Columbus was Heinrich Himmler, a genocidal 
racist, responsible for millions of innocent deaths of Indigenous People.

"Indigenous People" is what we used to call "Native Americans" in the 
1970s - which is what we used to call "Indians" before that.

You see, Columbus thought he had actually reached India at first - hence 
"Indians".

You know, it's like when people from Arkansas call you and me Canadians 
because they think they've made it all the way to Canada when they've only 
made it as far as Minneapolis :-)

Is a misnomer really all that insulting?

Okay, you shouldn't call anybody by a name they don't like - it's not 
polite - I get that.

*****
Anyway, it's amazing how much Columbus has changed in 50 years :-)

From hero to zero.

It turns out he WAS pretty crappy to the locals he encountered - killed 
some, enslaved others, killed some more.

And he did start to bring in European diseases which the locals had no 
immunity to. But I don't think he did that on purpose. Columbus didn't know 
a microbe from a meteorite back then.

If you want someone to vilify, and who doesn't, try the Conquistadors, 
they're the real villains.

I doubt Columbus was much of an ideolog, he was just looking to make a buck 
bringing back cheap spices (and drugs?, oops!) from the far east. How 
American is that?

*****
You have to let history be history - I mean be honest and let the chips fall 
where the might.

The Columbus myth isn't as rosie as we were led to believe, but he's 
probably not the worst person who ever lived either.

There were a lot of really nasty people in history.

Here's two interesting recent documentaries about old Chris:

Christopher Columbus - The Discovery Of America And What Happened After
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-E9T6UWaDRA

Christopher Columbus | The Secrets And Lies Of Columbus | Timeline
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0yoVsZfypQ


Columbus Day
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbus_Day

Indigenous Peoples' Day
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indigenous_Peoples%27_Day

Columbus
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbus


I still remember a silly poem I read as a kid regarding the year he sailed 
(had it been different).

In 1491 Columbus sailed for the setting sun.
In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
In 1493 Columbus sailed the bright blue sea.
In 1494 Columbus sailed for San Salvador.
In 1495 Columbus sailed for the western hive.
(a western hive is nothing whatever
but in a narative verse it sounds pretty clever)
In 1496 Columbus did some juggling tricks.
In 1497 Columbus discovered the land of heaven.
In 1498 Columbus discovered the Unita-Stat.
In 1499 Columbus sailed the wavy brine.
Columbus then, in whatever the year, discovered the western hemisphere.

Okay, you can't really "discover" a place if there's already millions of 
people living there. It's just relative.

Before sailing west Columbus took the Santa Maria out on a shakedown 
cruise - he found he got 5,000 miles to the "galleon" :-)


Stay Jazzed!
--Tom Swezey