06/29/2023 **************************************** Several people have asked me recently about "AI" (Artificial Intelligence). I assume they think that since I'm a computer guy, I know all about it. The fact is, I know next to nothing about it. But I don't like to ever admit something like that, so instead I just throw around a few buzz words until can I humiliate them into feeling so stupid they go away. That's what buzz words are for - isn't it? **************************************** Wait, that's not right - actually, I know EVERYTHING there is to know about AI - in fact I think I might have invented some of it myself. No. that's not right either - probably somewhere in between :-) **************************************** I'm somewhat hesitant to make predictions about new things. I do believe AI will be BIG, really, really BIG. But how? Who knows. **************************************** Imagine that this is 1955, and a bunch of us "byte jockeys" are sitting around nursing our three martini lunches, as usual, discussing the recent opening of Disneyland in California or the new polio vaccine. When somebody asks, "I wonder how COMPUTERS will affect society, and the world in general, in the years to come." I'm sure I would have said, "How should I know?". After all I was just a toddler in 1955, and slurping down three martinis isn't going to help either. (Don't tell Mom!). Who, in 1955, could POSSIBLY have foreseen microprocessors, personal desktop computers, cell phones, the internet with Google, YouTube, Wikipedia - and TikTok for the kiddies? I mean, in 1955 computers still used vacuum tubes and punch cards. We didn't even have Pong yet - let alone Pac-Man. **************************************** General purpose things, like computers, and now AI, tend to go in a thousand different directions. Many are silly or insignificant - many are profound. Only time will tell. Like I say, "Who knows?" **************************************** Actually, I DO KNOW the TRUE future of AI. I've mentioned before, that my family name was originally "Nosterswezey", and I come from a long line of "seers" that can foresee the future. Sort of like "Nosterdamus", only a little nearsighted :-) We tend to lay low, because we're always being bombarded with requests. Biden and Trump are always calling me for advice on what they should do next. (I wonder if their following of my advice is why everything has been so screwed up the last few years? :-) **************************************** Anyway, I'm decided to tell YOU the EXACT, TRUE future of AI. The straight poop. I can sum it up in ONE SENTENCE. Four words. "SPECTACULAR COMPUTER GENERATED PORNOGRAPHY" I'm absolutely certain about this - there is no doubt in my mind! These amoral computer programs are going to generate the filthiest, sickest, most shocking, kinkiest, twisted, bizarre, perverted, unnatural, degenerate pornography that you could EVER IMAGINE - actually WAY BEYOND anything you COULD ever imagine! AI has no shame, no inhibitions, no limitations. I'm not even sure I will understand what they're talking about in some of their stories - they'll be so twisted, or understand exactly what the graphic pictures and movies they'll generate are actually showing. (Is that a duck-billed platypus? What are they doing?) But rest assured they will ALL be SPECTACULARLY OBSCENE! **************************************** Imagine taking a movie like "Deep Throat" and having AI remove Linda Lovelace and Harry Reems and replace them with computer generated images of Jacqueline Kennedy and Grouch Marx. Sick enough for you? AI won't even need to start with an existing porno movie. Imagine an AI generated porn remake of "Mary Poppins" (oh no! NOT Julie Andrews!) They'll give "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" a whole new meaning! Or "Casablanca", where Ingrid Bergman will be depicted, in graphic detail, performing unspeakable acts with a group of Nazis to help Laszlo escape. And I can't even think about a porn version of "The Bells of St. Mary's"! Excuse me, I think I'm going to puke - is NOTHING sacred? I KNOW all this is coming! You'll even be able to make your own sicko AI porn using an "app" on your cell phone. You'll be able to star in your own movies without even taking your pants off. **************************************** Think about the history of the world. From ancient Greek statues of goddesses running around naked (okay, statues don't actually 'run around', but you get my gist). Nudie Renaissance paintings and statues (excuse me I mean "fine art"). Do you REALLY believe David was COMPLETELY naked when he fought Goliath? Give me a break! - It's porn. The printing press with books like "Fanny Hill". Photography with it's shocking "French Postcards" from the turn of the century (1900). Motion pictures with its "stag movies" of the 1940s-50s and its x-rated movies of the 1960s-70s. Its all been part of mankind's obsessive, relentless quest for better porn. And now we stand on the edge of the greatest advancement in history - AI generated porn. **************************************** I'm not saying AI won't be used for other things too - like curing cancer and cute stuff like that - just that ALL of that will shrink to insignificance compared to the real achievement of AI - pornography. **************************************** I've been in the computer industry my entire career and I'd liked to think I've helped make the world a little better place as a result. Sure, just a little bit better, maybe not much, but hopefully some good. But when I look at the greatest computer achievement so far - the internet - and realize it's really just a massive, world wide data base of porn, I have to shake my head and sigh. Is that really what computers are all about? - Really? - Porn? I guess so. Have a bang up Fourth! And Stay Jazzed! --Tom Nosterswezey ...