May 20, 2005
May the Force Be With Ye. |
Caught in the act! Wish I could whistle innocently. "Who? Me? On the table? Naaaah, ye be seein' things. |
On Sunday, I got me curlybottom put in me work clothes and the Captain and Navigator took me to this odd place near Southdale. Gale force winds rocked the boat a lot, let me tell ye! Met Auntie Em, and Uncle Chuck, and Uncle Milson and a bunch of other strange creatures from Geekland n' settled down in a private suite to watch a movie. It was kind of like the movie-place onboard, really. What we saw had somethin' to do with Piracy In The Stars. Very interesting, methinks, as I now be understandin' where Zap's dark side be a-comin' from. I found that Obi-Wan Kebarky looked an awful lot like the Captain's father (she kept saying, "Ack, quit a-chasin' me ol' dad with them lightsabers, yarrr!") n' everyone knows that when I grow up, I want to be as fierce as me grand-papa. |
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So, since me return aboard our ship, I have been studyin' the ways o' the Jedi. Me back-flips aren't quite perfected yet, but me skywalkin' skills be perfectly honed. Me sneak attacks on the Captain (while she sits a-workin' on her ship logbook, I press me nose to the back o' her neck from the dining room table) are now me greatest weapon with the element o' surprise. Yarr! I can do it totally stealthily, too. Now the only question that need be answered is if I'm "Good" enough to be a Jedi, or if I should just try to be a mercenary stealthy ninja (with all the blessin's of me ancestors...)
The Captain wasn't so pleased about me jumpin' up on top of Dmitri, though I cannot understand why. It makes a fine perch! She did a-catch me leapin' up there n' told me "nononobadpiratebadnopiratesonthepiano", whatever that be a-meanin'. So I tried again later, but missed, and took down a couple of music books n' a box o' pencils. Odd, that was.
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Pirate Skywalker, fearless Jedi knight o' the Minnesnowtan Seas. Captain had the camera right there on her desk when she turned around and saw me there. Now there's evidence of me sneaky Jedi/Ninja ways. Maybe I should be a-startin' to wear a fake mustache and glasses before me next assignment. |
Me, on the torture table, bein' good. |
So here I be, now a-learnin' to put up with the torture table like a good lil' obedient pirate (HA!). Found out it goes faster if ye don't be a-squirmin', and the Captain is more likely to give ye a snack if ye
behave. Behaving might make me piraty skin itch, but hey, in the end, I be the one makin' off with the loot.
Brig life ain't too bad. I've been sprung from jail for work a-trainin' a bit this week, even if sometimes *SHE* (the First Mate) also came with us. On Wednesday, I got to go with Auntie Amy and Auntie Emily n' the Captain to buy dresses for pretty wenches. Auntie Amy is claimin' uncle John as her own now (I be thinkin' she took him hostage a while back n' now this is his only option for survival), so it be important that everyone look their best. Me, I don't understand why they can't just sit down 'round the table n' drink up some grog, but the ways of the Humans be rather odd. Far be it from me to question it all - I got me some snuggle for me accompanyin' troubles. I got to flirt with some pretty wenches in the Wench Store, and then sit quietly n' stand guard while the ladies had a snack. I didn't ask for one, as it was me watch anyway. Ne'er eat on the job. Ye might end up a-snoozin' when ye should be a-guardin'! |
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