May 9, 2005
The Revenge of Toot-ankhamun |
What?! No, I be innocent! Th'arrr ye went, a-blamin' the dog again. |
Be warned, ye fair maidens, for to wander into this pirate's territory is a sure way to find ye dead by the morn.
Toot-ankhamun's curse be with us, I fear. Yarrr. King Toot, that'd be me. I be unleashin' me terrible, terrible and silent weapon of (m)ass distruction today and even the Captain be a little green around the gills. Yarr, she be not sea-sick, of this I be certain. Me insides be rottin' - I can't blame the hardtack or the grog, but methinks maybe the hide me teeth were a-sinkin' into yesterday eve may be comin' back to curse me yet. These noxious fumes be lethal, yarr, and may well melt the tar off the deck. I have just cause for this silent but lethal attack. Read on. Yarr. |
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The Captain has consulted some people at TheList, where ever that be, and has been torturin' me in the brig on a regular basis. I be not appreciatin' this. In fact, I'd rather she drop the idea entirely, but so far, none of me whinin' and barkin' and downright cursin' has helped me cause any. Startin' to think I'd be best to just sit n' chew me kong rather than lose me voice a-protestin'. Darn TheList. If I ever set me paws on it, I tell ye, there'll be hell to pay. | 
The bane of me existence |
Here, fishy fishy fishy. |
Other than me troubles with me rottin' innards n' with the brig, life on deck be not too harsh these days. I have been a-learnin' to fetch things when the Captain requests them. She has told me I must be a-stoppin' the whole fetch-n-fling, even though the First Mate told me that was the way to get things done. I be unsure why the Captain, she be offended by me a-tossin' o' the thing I just fetched. I also have been a-learnin' to brace me Captain for standin' and been doin' pretty well except when wanted to make the suggestion that a belly rub would be far more appropriate for the occasion.
I be findin' out, also, that bitin' the Captain in the rear end is not a good thing, even if she be a-runnin' up the stairs to catch the telephone when it's a-ringin'. Can't help it! It be like... like if she be a shoop, ye savvy? I don't really know what comes o'er me. |
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