Pirate's Log Book

The Truth about Tutoring

Come all ye young fellows that follow the sea,
to my way haye, blow the man down,
And please pay attention and listen to me,
Give me some time to blow the man down.

To all the other young sailorpups out there - be ye warned! This tutoring that ye captains may speak of isn't what ye expect it to be. Law on the high seas be harsh at the best of times, but this tutorin' will be a-leavin' ye feelin' like ye were hit across the crown jewels with a belaying pin or capstan bar. Me impression is that I've been robbed, but I be not sure of what. Dignity, perhaps. Yarrr...

I have been a-feelin' rather under the weather this week, what with me achin' bits and such. The First Mate still wants to play and I be more than happy to oblige, as long as she doesn't kick me underside! The captain wants me to remain quiet and calm, but that be rather difficult for a young pirate like me.

T'prove t'ye all that the Captain be a harsh one, she turned the Rug into an example to keep the rest of us in line: Yes, that be right, she skinned the Rug! Ye can even see the evidence in the picture I attached right here. They killed Spanky, I know they did, there be all his fluff and none of him left! Maybe they ate him. Maybe that's why we be a-treated with real meat tonight. Maybe... Maybe I be next! I promise I'll behave... Aaaah!

Nope, nope, false alarm, the Rug, he still be alive. The Captain just removed enough o' his hair to make him float less if she has to be a-tossin' him overboard to teach him a lesson. With all that hair, he be buoyant somethin' fierce. Not so handy when it comes time to walk the plank.

I was spared the plank and the torture this week because of me delicate condition. Maybe I should milk this for what it's worth, while I can. I be pretty certain my duties as cabin boy will catch up to me soon enough. The only upside to this tutorin' business is that I have gotten to spend lots of cuddle time with the Captain, without bein' ordered about.