April 4, 2005
Man o'erboard! Man o'erboard! |
Bein' philosophical. |
On Wednesday past, I be sittin' in me hammock writin' me log, the sway o' the seas and the thunderin' of the skies takin' me by surprise every now and then. I'm not sure I really liked this whole thunderstorm dance. In fact, I be pretty sure I'm not likin' it at all. I couldn't sit out there n' watch me birds or go out on leave n' chase me some gooses. The ship swayed and shook n' the heavens cried all the tears of the world. Bet it was a hard day up there... |
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The Captain and her mates have given me a new duty as part of me job as Fearsome Cabin Boy and Fierce Protector o' the Ship. The First Mate n' I have been assigned the job of flushin' out the Canada Gooses off of the land near where we make berth. It be a satisfyin' job though I can almost guarantee that goose makes better grub than the hardtack I get every day. Maybe we should actually catch one and see. | 
Spring, Spring... muddy spring... |
Man o'erboard! |
Other than the stormy seas, it's been beautiful out here lately. We all took a shore leave at Seadog Treasure Island n' went for a run in the field. I followed the First Mate (like a good cabin boy is s'posed to do!) and she led me to sea. To sea! We were on land for a change o' pace, I told meself, so why is she leadin' me to water? She and the Toller-of-Nine-Tails hopped right into the pond and swam around! They've lost their minds, they must have! This thing be just like a gigantic bathtub! Why would a self-respectin' pirate throw hisself in there willingly, I ask ye! So I didn't. The Navigator threw me in. Twice. |
| Then I understood what the fuss was all about. See, the pirateness of the endeavor is to swim around n' then watch the Captain and Navigator's faces screw up in a hideous scowl when we start a-rollin' around in the mud after our swim. Such fun! We fetched n' swam and played for hours. I came back to the ship exhausted and slept the rest of the afternoon well into the darkness and stillness o' the night. Thankfully it was me day off and I had no special duties. I think I'd have slept through chores, no matter how hard I'd have tried to stay awake. | 
Come BACK here, ye scurvy dog! |
Do it again! Do it again! Kaboiiiing! |
I woke up fierce last mornin' and kept meself busy while the Captain and the rest of the crew were a-sleepin'. I figured it was me chance to take me revenge on those blasted collars the Captain makes us wear all the time. Nekkid ol' seadogs, that's the way to be! She doesn't make us wear 'em on board the ship, but only when we are on an away mission. Maybe it's to recognize the bodies should we be fightin' an enemy near the coast of Morocco (or Fargo, as it were). So, I found one, and I ate it. When the Captain awoke, she asked, "Pirate, matey? Whatcha be a-chewin'?" so I pretended to sleep. Pirates-in-training out there, take note: if ye be gettin' accused of bein' up to no good, use yer noggin' and pretend ye be a-sleepin' or busy chewin' on something legal. But me Captain is hard to fool. She didn't scold me - she laughed! The nerve. Here I be all fierce and she dares laugh. I sulked a while. |
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I leave ye with a picture of me handsome self where I be practicin' me standin' all handsome-like. The Captain says me dungbie still looks like a sheep's, but pay no mind. The wenches still like me and be a-thinkin' me 'fro is appropriate for a handsome pirate like me. Just ask Miss Molly o' the torture chamber! She thinks I be *very* handsome. I have used this to me advantage by blockin' the door to the torture chamber and not lettin' her out unless she be a-rubbin' me belly a while first. Sometimes we pirates have to be a little forceful, but we get our belly rubs one way or another. |
Comodore Curlybottom strikes again. Stikes a pose, too. |
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Steering? What steering!? |
'Cause it's a heave-ho! hi-ho!
Coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a ho-hey! hi-hey!
Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.
ARRRRRRRRR!
~Pirate ...Tipping me hat to the Arrogant Worms and "The Last Saskatchewan Pirate" |
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