Pirate's Log Book

There's no business like show business?

Look, I don't mind people tellin' me what a handsome pirate I be. I don't even mind 'em offerin' me some liver for me troubles. However, this weekend, the Captain took me and the first mate to the Isle of Showring and I really REALLY didn't like it. The First Mate did well and seemed to enjoy this, but I can't wrap my brain around the reason why. First off, it was really noisy n' there were lots of other dogses. They be purty wenches and handsome guys, but there were way too many feet to dodge. Secondly, I had to trot around this barricaded thing and not catch the guy in front of me. Then, some guy I didn't even know wanted to look at my stuff! I wanted to scream out: "INAPPPROPRIATE TOUCHING! I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADULT!" So I growled at him. The Captain had me 'excused', n' I didn't want anything to do with anyone after all that. No way, José - burned once, twice shy! I be six months, n' right now it's a scary world out there. I'd rather stay on the ship or be a-workin' with the Captain and the Kids (Kidds?). A-workin', I be just fine. This whole show business stuff is for the birds (or the bird dogs). The Captain said we'd wait until I was older, n' that be fine by me!

Maybe I was a little weird because Auntie Em was sad yesterday. After leaving the Isle of Showring, we got to be with friendly crews and remember the uncle-Keith-I-never-got-to-know, n' got me some wench-snuggles and lovin's (and grog!) at Town Hall Brewery. I let everyone snuggle me and give me tummy rubs and feed me treats. I guess I really wanted to prove the Captain wrong. Still, right now, I'd rather stay in things that are familiar, if ye all do not mind. Some things that didn't make much sense before make much more sense now n' I haven't had the chance to process it all, so I be a little spooky. Gnarr. Back off, I be FIERCE.

Other than this Isle of Showring mishap, I be havin' a good week. I have a lot o' work on board, n' I get to take the Captain to Physiotherapy Island every Tuesday and Thursday n' practice my long stays (yarr!) n' flirt with wenches there. I don't like seein' the Captain' a-achin', but I must admit that it's nice to be able to run away with loot without her bein' able to catch me. I ate a greeting card, the inside of one of dad's old shoes (in record time, the Captain says!), a chunk of stolen liver, some crumbs I found on the floor in the Captain's classroom, one of the first mate's tennis balls, and I gutted my stuffed bunny. Yarr! FIERCE I TELL YE.

Watch out, world... here I come!

~Pirate.