Message In A Bottle

Pirate's Mail

July 6, 2005
Pirate,

You seem to be quite in touch with how things run your brig, so I thought I'd seek your advice for a problem I've got. A little over a year ago, my human went and brought home a puppy. No no, couldnt be another Aussie puppy, so's n we could have big aussie fun, no. She brought home a HasNoKnees, or somesuch like that. It's a tiny furry little beast thats is far too cute for its own good. Now, I been a tellin her that its no good to potty outside, and that every chance she gets, she should go on the carpet. I think its working. That makes the humans mighty mad to have to clean that up. I also tell her that the only way out of the "prison" (crate) is to scream bloody murder at the top of her lungs. Thats workin pretty well too.

Well, see, my aussie brother and I are 5 and 6 years old. We were show dogs, then obedience and agility dogs, and we do therapy work. Needless to say, we're "perfect". Well, this little dog is no where near perfect and I cant get her sent back from whence she came!!!

I'm desperate! No matter what we do, the humans still adore her, and tell her she's too cute, and its a good thing she's so cute, or she'd really be in trouble.

Can I send her to you to have her walk the plank? Something needs to be done!

Thanks in advance -

Tryss
aka Mysharas Temptress CGC, TDI
6 yo black tri Aussie fed up with that Havanese!!!



Me, drinking me Diet Grog n' answerin' Tryss' message

Yarr, Tryss, ya temptress indeed...

Ya seem to have yarself a HasNoKnees problem indeed. To ye brother, I say this: use the little morsel-on-a-rope as bait to get ye some affection from passin' wenches. Nothin' like bait to get 'em hooked n' then ye can slobber all yer lovin' on 'em. What's the little puff o' hair gonna do? Bite ye knees? Ha!

As for ye, Tryss, tharr can only be two solutions. Firstly, ye can try to train the little anklebiter to stand on ye shoulder and act like ye trained parrot (it should yap enough for the job). Alternately, ye can abandon ship n' swim ashore. Light a beacon n' I'll find ye.

Truth is, me lovely, once them humans like somethin', it's likely tharrrr to stay. Better make the most of it - train it to be yar slave or elope with me!

Yars truly,

Pirate
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