MEMO
November 28, 1997
From: General George Hammond
To: All SG Team Leaders
Subject: Addition to standing orders
Starting immediately and until further notice, all off-world teams are to be on the look out for suitable biological specimens. Due to the expected size of the desired specimen and the potential for contamination, teams are to leave the specimens in place. Upon location of a potential specimen, teams are to tag the specimen and record its location for further evaluation by a specially designated examination and collection team.
Specimens must conform to the following specifications ....
Monday December 1, 1997, 0813 hours, SGC, Commissary
"Good Morning, DanielJackson."
"Oh, hi, Teal'c."
"You appear concerned. Is there something troubling you?"
"Um, actually, yeah. Jack seems awfully excited about the new orders."
"And this is a cause for worry?"
"I'm not sure when I've seen Jack so excited about a non-military part of a mission. It makes me a bit, ah, nervous."
"I'm sure there is no reason to be alarmed."
"I hope not."
Wednesday December 3, 1997, 0922 hours, SGC, briefing room
"So, anything look good, kids?"
"Jack, there are some things that look like they might be buildings on PX3-168. It's kind of hard to tell they are just at the edge of what the MALP can see."
"The UAV from PX4-873 shows some promising geological formations about three miles from the 'gate, sir. They are similar to where we've found some interesting ores on Px3-821 and PM2-763."
"So it is a choice between boring old ruins and, even more boring, even older mineral deposits?"
"That's about right, sir."
"Daniel, just how much can the MALP see?"
"There are parts of what look like the remains of a castle just visible through the trees. It looks like it could be really interesting."
"That sounds marginally more interesting that soil samples."
"I concur, O'Neill. And it appears from the pictures that there is a good chance of fulfilling our secondary objective as well."
"We'll take it!"
Friday December 5, 1997, 1123 hours, SGC, outside of Dr. Jackson's office
"Oh, good, General! I was hoping to find you!"
"Yes, Dr. Jackson?"
"I was just looking over SG-6's reports and I'm concerned about what they have tagged. Given its location and the items found surrounding it I think it may be a, a sacred object and that removing it could cause a backlash."
"Thank you, Doctor. I'll take it off the list. Is that all you wanted to see me about?"
"Ah, no. I was also concerned about potential, um, problems on base."
"Problems, Son?"
"Well, the orders seem not really very, um, military. And they might pose a problem for certain people on base."
"Affected personnel were consulted with prior to the implementation of the orders. No one was concerned and Lt. Roazen pointed out that it was, in fact, a good use of one of the most abundant resources we have come across so far in our explorations."
Tuesday December 9, 1997, 1437 hours, PX7-722
"Jack, wouldn't it be simpler, not to mention less dangerous, if we just marked it like we were told to?"
"Aaah! No way! I don't want this beauty being lost."
"I'm sorry that we didn't have a chance to tag the one on PX3-168, but you were bleeding rather badly at the time."
"What's a little blood in the pursuit of duty?"
"Uh, sir, that does look rather dangerous."
"O'Neill, are you certain that this is an appropriate use of C4?"
"Hey! It's not that much. Just enough to leave a highly visible mark on the hill."
Boom! Crash!
"Um, Jack, I thought we were supposed to leave them, er, standing. . ."
Friday December 12, 1997, 0530 hours, SGC, locker room
"Hey, Ferretti! How's it going?"
"Not bad, Colonel. Although you seem to be getting all the good planets these days."
"Didn't you guys get PX9- whatever? The one that looked just like Maui? With the really friendly natives?"
"Yeah, it was nice, but nothing interesting-- no tech, no minerals, nothing like what SG-1 has been finding. But then there's finding and there's keeping."
"What do you mean, Major?"
"Well, you know what they say, sir. The bigger they are, the harder they fall - and if that doesn't work add some C4."
Monday December 15, 1997, 1930 hours, SGC, gate room
"Someone get a medic over here!"
"Colonel, what happened?"
"Just a small traffic accident with the natives, General."
"In an attempt to prevent DanielJackson from being hit by staff weapons' fire, I was forced to dive in front of an animal-driven vehicle. The antlered quadruped did not injure me, but the runner of the sled it was pulling appears to have damaged my foot. I regret that my injury required us to return before completing all mission objectives."
"Negotiations were already pretty well broken down, Teal'c. And I think the SGC will survive without the other. Won't it, Jack?"
"Hey, this place had major possibilities!"
Wednesday December 17, 1997, 1611 hours, PX1-302
Achoo!
"That's a very, um, unusual specimen, Jack."
Wheeze.
"Carter found it! I love it!"
"The deep maroon color is most unique, O'Neill."
"Makes for a change from green, doesn't it? Daniel, you ok?"
"Um, I don't think I like this one."
Thud.
"Daniel!"
"Sir, he's not breathing!"
"Carter, dial us home. Damn! I suppose this one is out, then."
Thursday December 18, 1997, 1430 hours, SGC, General Hammond's office
"Sir, I'm concerned about the recent rise in injury rates."
"Any sense of what is causing this, Doctor?"
"The recent change in standing orders seems to have spurred a potentially dangerous level of competition between the various SG teams. I'm worried that continuing it may lead to some serious injuries. I have already had several minor injuries in addition to one broken leg, three different cases of contact dermatitis, and then there was Dr. Jackson's going into anaphylactic shock. It's very lucky that they were nearly at the gate and that there was no difficulty in dialing. I'm considering requiring a refresher course in use of epinephrine for all personnel directly involved in gate travel; there are just too many potentially lethal allergens out there."
"I appreciate your concern, Doctor, but given we are so close to the end of this phase of the project, unless there are further injuries, I will let it run its course. I will, however, caution all departing teams to be more careful. The final assessment by the collection team will begin on Monday, at which point things should calm down."
Monday December 22, 1997, 0732 hours, SGC, briefing room
"You look happy, Captain? Big plans for the holiday?"
"Uh, no, sir. Just looking at the MALP telemetry. I think you'll like the looks of this one, sir."
"Oh, Yeah! We have a winner!"
Monday December 22, 1997, 1217 hours, PX1-225
"Holy Hannah!"
"Oh, wow!"
"You can say that again, kids!"
"It is even more impressive than the MALP indicated."
"Carter, is it within the physical parameters?"
"Just barely, sir, but I think it should be ok. If it were any wider at the base I'm not sure we could bring it through the gate."
"Sam, do you think the glow will stay even if it's cut?"
"I don't know, Daniel. We need to take samples. This could be really useful! Just think of the uses!"
"Hey, none of that talk, Carter! Let's get what you need and head back."
"O'Neill, what about the rest of the mission?"
"The ore samples can wait, Teal'c. This is important."
Tuesday December 23, 1997, 17:30 hours, SGC, Col. O'Neill's office
Ring! Ring!
"O'Neill here"
"Just wanted to tell you, Colonel, that the collection team has decided to go with your latest find. They just finished the testing and it passed the contamination tests."
"YES! Uh, thank you for the good news, sir."
"I was wondering if you and the rest of your team would like to join them for the extraction at 0930 tomorrow."
"We'd love to, General. Thank you."
"Thank you, Colonel. You and your team have done the SGC proud."
Wednesday December 24, 1997, 1047 hours, SGC, gate room
Klaxons sound.
"Incoming wormhole! Receiving iris code. It's SG-1, sir."
"Open the iris, Sergeant."
"Welcome back!"
"Thank you, sir. Hey, Sisson, watch it! You don't want to knock that -- glowy thing off!"
"Can you give me a hand with this, Sergeant?"
"Sure thing, Captain!"
"Teal'c, Daniel, how are you guys holding up?"
"We are 'holding up' well, O'Neill."
"I'm fine, Jack. But we're going to need help getting it upright."
"Walker, give 'em a hand. Carter, you and Siler got the base attached?"
"All set, sir!."
"Ok, now, lift it up. Slowly... slowly... There she goes!"
"I've never seen anything like it before, sir."
"Isn't great, Doc? Perfect shape, just brushes the ceiling, and not a bald spot anywhere!"
"It's amazing! And not just because it's silver and the cones are glowing."
"Congratulations to SG-1 for providing us with the best Christmas tree on this or any other planet!"
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